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I recently encountered a movement underway on social media called “Normalize Atheism.” According to the website of the same name, the movement started a couple of years ago, but it seems to have picked up more speed recently. The basic idea is that atheists post a picture of themselves on social media, using the hashtag #normalizeatheism, to demonstrate that atheists are just like everyone else.

Why is that necessary? The website explains:

Even in countries where church and state are kept separate and mainstream religious practice is fairly moderate, atheists are marginalized, stigmatized, or simply ignored. And that’s a problem. Because if we want our society to be just, pluralistic, and inclusive, there needs to be space not only for the many varieties of religious believers, but also for those of us who don’t believe. This isn’t an easy problem to solve…it’s a very old problem. Solving it will require changing the way atheists are perceived by the societies in which we live. And the first step toward realizing that change is reminding everyone else that we’re here. It doesn’t demand any particular political affiliation, it doesn’t necessitate the acceptance of a specific ideology. All it requires is for all of us who are able to speak up and say, ‘I’m an atheist. And I think it’s time for us to #NormalizeAtheism.’”

Here are a few examples of what people are posting:

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My new book, Talking with Your Kids about God, comes out in just two weeks! If you haven’t ordered your copy yet, NOW is the time (you can order from Amazon, Barnes & Noble, Lifeway, ChristianBook.com or Direct2Church).

Today I’m sharing the introduction from the book right here on the blog so you can get a better feel for what it’s all about…and hopefully get excited about having the book in hand. 🙂 If you’d like to read even more, my publisher has made both the introduction and first chapter available for download here. And if you haven’t yet visited the book page here on my site, you can click here to learn more, read the table of contents and check out the endorsements.

I hope you enjoy the introduction! And if you’re excited about the book, would you take a moment to share this post with those you know? I would so much appreciate your help in getting the word out to your friends, pastors, children’s/youth ministry leaders, teachers, and anyone else you can think of!

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Introduction to Talking with Your Kids about God

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My backyard is where plants go to die.

Each year when spring rolls around, I think I can grow a few potted plants outside and enthusiastically head down to the local nursery. I buy plants with beautiful green leaves, already starting to produce fruit, and drive home ready to take on the world one homegrown tomato at a time.

Within a month, my plants die . . . every single time.

I can’t pretend I don’t know why—I’m the world’s laziest waterer. I start off strong but soon fail to water the plants until they’re almost dead. Feeling guilty, I then drench them with buckets of water one last time, but it’s too late. They can’t recover, and soon they’re in the trash.

Last year I was determined to do things differently. With my characteristic spring enthusiasm, I picked out pepper, tomato, and basil plants. I meticulously watered them every day. But despite my discipline, the tomato plant soon turned yellow, the basil plant was burnt by the sun, and the pepper plant was devoured by caterpillars.

Not knowing what to make of all this, I finally purchased a gardening book to learn more about keeping plants alive. I couldn’t believe how much there was to consider! I thought gardening was simple—dirt, seeds, and water. In reality, it’s a lot more complex.

• Each plant has unique needs. Even if I remembered to water each day, my discipline wasn’t going to keep my plants thriving, because different plants have different needs. The tomato plant turned yellow because I watered it too much.

• Plants need more than one ingredient and in the right amounts. I had assumed that plants simply need water to grow. I hadn’t considered the amount of sunlight each one needs, nor the type of soil or fertilizer. The basil plant died from too much sun.

• The environment plays a major role. Not only did I need to proactively give my plants what they require, but I also needed to proactively protect them from predators. Caterpillars were able to eat my pepper plant because I hadn’t warded against them.

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This weekend I had the wonderful opportunity to speak at the ReTHINK Student Apologetics Conference (there are more of these conferences coming—be sure to check out the link and learn about them!). I always enjoy talking to parents after speaking and this weekend was no exception. One thing I realized this time was that at every event where I’ve spoken in the last couple of years, there have been parents who share with me afterward that their child has recently said they no longer believe in God. Sometimes the kids are very young, other times they’re well into their adult years. But the question parents bring to me is always the same: “What should I say to them?”

After having a couple of long conversations with parents about this over the weekend, I wanted to write this post for others who may be struggling with the same thing. While this is, of course, a complex topic, these are 10 of the most important things I think you can say to a child of any age when they say they don’t believe in God anymore. For what it’s worth, this isn’t some kind of theoretical exercise for me. One of my own young kids periodically struggles with this because God can’t be physically seen. We have several of these conversations regularly.

 

1. “Thank you for sharing this with me.”

There’s no doubt it sends panic into a Christian parent’s heart to hear the words, “I don’t believe in God anymore” or “I’m not sure if I believe in God anymore.” But how we respond to our child at a time of spiritual crisis (whether they consider it a crisis or not) is critical. If our reaction is fearful, angry, panicked or condemning, we quickly let our kids know that expressing their doubts is not OK. As parents, we need to be the safest place in our children’s lives to have conversations about God or they’ll find another place to go—likely a place where you wouldn’t want to find them.

Simply saying, “Thank you for sharing this with me” lets them know you are happy they came to you, that you want to talk with them about their feelings, and that expressing doubt in your home is welcome. To be clear, that doesn’t imply you’re happy about the doubt itself, but that you’re happy to be a safe place for these conversations.Continue reading

I don’t know.

I simply do not know the answer to this question, nor can I fathom what it might be.

But I was heartbroken when I learned that Nabeel succumbed to cancer this weekend at age 34, leaving behind his wife and young daughter. My tears just kept coming after the news, even though I never had the opportunity to meet him personally.

For those who haven’t followed his story, Nabeel Qureshi was a Muslim-turned-Christian Apologist who authored the best-selling books Seeking Allah, Finding Jesus: A Devout Muslim Encounters Christianity, Answering Jihad: A Better Way Forward, and No God But One: Allah or Jesus? A Former Muslim Investigates the Evidence for Islam and Christianity.

Seeking Allah, Finding Jesus tells the incredible story of Nabeel’s journey to Christ through an extraordinary set of investigations, dreams and visions. After committing to Jesus, Nabeel became a Christian apologist and spent the rest of his life writing and speaking, with a heart for bringing light to the Muslim world.

When you read his story, it is amazingly clear that God chose him for this important role.

But that clarity was also the reason so many people were shocked when he was diagnosed last year with stage 4 stomach cancer, which has a 5-year survival rate of 4 percent. The obvious question everyone wanted to ask was, “Why would God so clearly raise someone up with such an extraordinary testimony, only to let him die at this young age?”

Instead of accepting the grim outlook, however, Nabeel made it clear that he was not giving up. He started filming regular videos to document his treatment and reflect on faith during a difficult time. He prayed fervently for healing and strongly believed that healing would come, for the glory of God. Tens of thousands of people prayed for him and fasted over the months of his treatment. He attended healing services. In his videos, he recounted many experiences with people who told him they “heard a word” from God and that they knew he would be healed. On his Facebook page, thousands of people commented every time he posted a new video, and many of the comments were from people who said they, too, “knew” he was going to be healed.

I, like so many others, anxiously awaited each video in the hope of a miracle. After all, that same question from when he was diagnosed sat firmly planted in the back of my mind: Why would God so clearly raise someone up with such an extraordinary testimony, only to let him die at this young age?

Surely, this must be for the glory of God so He can perform a miracle and demonstrate to the Muslim world that Christianity is true!

But on Saturday, Nabeel died.

 

When Your Faith is Wounded

Many people have shared beautiful tributes to Nabeel’s life, and my Facebook feed is overflowing with posts proclaiming that Nabeel received ultimate healing. They are celebrating his life, and there is much to celebrate.

But I’m still crying.

To be honest, it’s a very complex mess of tears.Continue reading

This is a guest post from Steve Kozak, currently the Executive Director of Awana Youth Ministries. Previously, Steve spent over a decade teaching high school theology from Detroit to LA. He holds a Masters in Theology from Moody Theological Seminary and a Masters in Christian Apologetics from Biola University. Steve speaks and writes on youth culture and apologetics. He resides in Chicago, IL, with his wife and four children. You can follow him on Twitter here and read the Awana Youth Ministries blog here.

 At the end of this post, I’ll share about a fantastic new apologetics curriculum that Awana Youth Ministries has just launched!   

 

There’s no arguing that youth groups are great. Even beyond spiritual growth and discipleship, they’re often the preferred student safe haven for parents. And rightfully so. It’s in youth groups that kids often find quality friends, great mentors, and (let’s be honest) a place to stay out of trouble.

But above all, youth groups should have one common purpose: to make disciples who make disciples. And as parents that is why we should want them attending—so they can become highly prepared and spiritually mature disciples of Jesus.

That said, far too often we experience less than the ideal. Youth pastors are doing everything they can to keep students coming. If we can just get them in the door, entertain them, and feed them, we think we can make Jesus a little more relevant and appealing. But how can you, as a parent, know when those good intentions to disciple your child have resulted in something resembling a social club more than a disciple-making ministry?

Here are six signs.Continue reading

This week, the Council on Biblical Manhood and Womanhood released a document called the Nashville Statement, which aimed to define how sexuality should be viewed through a biblical lens.

As you might expect, there has been a tremendous amount of back-and-forth between those who support it and those who don’t. My purpose in this post is not to debate the merits of the statement. It’s to talk about something said in response to it on the “Friendly Atheist” blog:

“I’m tempted to sign the statement myself, only because I think it’ll hasten the downfall of the Christian Right. The more we can connect this document to what it means to be a Christian, the more people will realize the faith is unworthy of respect” (emphasis mine).

The italicized part of this quote just hit me in the gut. Enough that I abandoned another blog post I was 90% done with right now to write this one instead. The Friendly Atheist’s statement expresses something I’ve been concerned about for a while.

Fellow believers, we need to talk.

 

When Christians Make It Easy for Skeptics to Redefine Christianity in the Public Eye

Any Christian with an understanding of, well, Christianity, knows that it would be absurd for anyone to think Christianity is defined by a single cultural issue. It’s a sad day when people are so uninformed that it would even be possible to define Christianity in that way. The author of that blog post is a smart guy who undoubtedly realizes that as well. Perhaps that’s why I found his statement so disingenuous—he presumably knows what actually defines Christianity (more on that in a minute) but is encouraging the promotion of his alternative, distorted definition to make people eschew the faith as quickly as possible.

As a Christian, does that frustrate you? Make you angry? Make you sad?

It should.

But I feel the need to say something today that’s been on my mind for a while now: Too many Christians are contributing to this (mis)understanding of what Christianity is all about, making it easy for skeptics to redefine Christianity in the public eye.Continue reading

In my own experience and in talking with other parents, questions from kids about the evil and suffering in our world are often the most difficult to answer. Some of these questions can leave us squirming to find the right words…and wondering if we just said something that is biblical at all! If you relate to that, you’re going to love today’s post.

Let me introduce you to Dr. Clay Jones, a Biola University apologetics professor who just had a book come out called Why Does God Allow Evil? Compelling Answers for Life’s Toughest Questions. I asked Dr. Jones if he would be willing to answer eight tough questions that kids often ask on this subject. He graciously agreed and provided his answers below.

Before you dig in, I just want to say that this is an excellent book. I had the honor of endorsing it, so I’ll share what I said: “It’s hard to imagine there could be a new much-needed book on the problem of evil when so much has already been written, but that’s what this is. Clay strikes a rare balance of theological depth and accessibility on this difficult subject, making it an ideal resource for anyone seeking to better understand how evil and suffering can co-exist with a perfectly good and loving God. He answers questions you’ve always had, questions you’re embarrassed to ask, and questions you didn’t think to ask but should have…all in an engaging style that makes you not want to put it down.”

So, if this is a subject you need to better understand (who doesn’t?), I highly recommend this book!

Many thanks to Dr. Jones for taking the time to answer the following questions.

 

8 Tough Questions Kids Ask About Evil and Suffering

 

1. The first chapter in your book is called, “Why do we suffer for Adam’s sin?” That’s a question many kids ask, including my own on multiple occasions. For many kids, it’s a question of fairness…”It’s not fair that Adam sinned and now we live with the consequences!” How should parents answer that (admittedly big) question?Continue reading

A couple of years ago, my husband and I were invited to a dinner party with a few other new parents from our kids’ Christian elementary school. After we worked our way through appetizers and the requisite small talk, the conversation turned to our respective faith backgrounds. One of the moms confessed that, as much as she loved the Lord, she struggled with how to share her faith with her son—so she had enrolled him at a Christian school where others might be able to do a “better job.”

Another mom replied, “Well, I don’t worry too much about it. I just tell my daughter that believing in God is like believing in Santa Claus. Some people believe, and some don’t. It’s a matter of faith.”

I glanced over at the mom who said that, ready to laugh with her at the idea of placing God and Santa in the same category.

But she wasn’t laughing.

She had just matter-of-factly shared what she honestly thought was a helpful way of explaining belief in God’s existence to her daughter.

Now, if an atheist had overheard this dinner party conversation, he or she would have delighted in my friend’s comparison of God and Santa because that’s precisely how atheists want us to think . . .

• God and Santa: two entities with no evidence to demonstrate their existence.
• God and Santa: childish beliefs people should outgrow once they understand there’s no evidence to demonstrate their existence.

Without realizing it, this mom was playing right into the hands of atheists. She was talking about God in a way that could actually damage her daughter’s faith eventually, given the types of challenges she’s likely to encounter.

As Christian parents, it’s critical that we understand our job isn’t to just talk about God in any way we can.

How we talk about God matters.

I was reminded of this fact—and my God vs. Santa experience—when I joined a Christian parenting Facebook group recently. Within a couple of days, I saw someone post that her 12-year-old son was suddenly struggling to believe in God and was asking his mom how we know God exists. She asked the group what she should tell him.

Dozens of parents chimed in, but almost all of the answers offered were in the “God and Santa” category—answers that can actually do more harm than good. It was really disheartening.

So today I want to share five kinds of responses I saw—and see often—that we should avoid when our kids ask questions about God’s existence.

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I’m excited to announce today that I’m forming a launch team for my new book, Talking with Your Kids about God: 30 Conversations Every Christian Parent Must Have (if you missed the recent post explaining what the book is all about, click here)!

A launch team is a group of people who are excited about the release of a new book, want the opportunity to read it before anyone else, and are willing to help the author spread the word when it comes out. Talking with Your Kids about God won’t be released until October, but I’m forming the launch team now to give everyone plenty of time to read it, ponder it, and collaborate on promotional ideas. To keep the group at a manageable size, I’m capping it at 100.

 

Benefits of being on the launch team include:

 

• A FREE early copy of the book (you get to read it before anyone else—copies will be mailed out next month!).

 

• Membership in a private Facebook group with me and the rest of the launch team, where we’ll read through the book together and collaborate on marketing ideas. You’ll have the opportunity to make new friends with like-minded parents, have great discussions about the book, and ask me any questions you’d like. (You do need to be on Facebook to be part of the team, as the Facebook group will be our launch team “home.”)

 

• The unique behind-the-scenes experience of launching a new book into the world! If you’re interested in writing a book yourself someday or just think it would be interesting to see how books are launched, this will be a great opportunity.

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Our family just returned from a wonderful vacation to the mountains of British Columbia. It was stunningly beautiful! We spent our first day there relaxing at this picture-perfect lake:

My husband and kids had a blast swimming out to a wooden platform in the middle of the lake and taking turns jumping off. I’m highly opposed to submerging myself in freezing cold water unnecessarily, so I happily enjoyed reading on the shore.

At one point I decided to walk down to the sand and take some photos. A man soon approached me and pointed to the water with a very serious look on his face.

“Leeches. The lake is filled with leeches. Look around and you’ll see that the big ones are puffed up on the blood they’ve sucked.”

I immediately freaked out, imagining that my family would soon be swimming back covered in blood-sucking creatures I would be too terrified to remove. But when I looked around the shallow water for signs of my family’s impending leech doom, I didn’t see anything. I started feeling better and decided the guy probably didn’t know what he was talking about.

When my husband and kids got back from swimming, I told them what the guy had said. My husband was as grossed out as I was and replied, “Great. I’m sure it’s not a big problem but now I don’t want to go back in. Way to ruin the rest of my day, ‘leech on the beach guy.’”

A little while later, leech on the beach guy spotted me and proudly walked over with a water bottle in hand. Inside was a gigantic leech with several babies attached.

“I told you so. She’s huge and was just sitting near the shore. They are everywhere.”

He walked away with the confidence of someone who had just revealed one of life’s greatest mysteries. But although it turned out he was right, my husband wasn’t exactly grateful for the confirmation. He still resented our leech friend for ruining his swimming plans.

 

When the Bearer of Bad News is Resented

That same day, I read with disgust about the now infamous Teen Vogue article promoting sodomy among teens. I truly couldn’t believe this was in a mainstream magazine. Speechless. Just speechless. And it made me consider how counter-culturally we have to live today as Christians. We’re no longer talking about a world where counter-cultural means leaving sports practice early for Wednesday night youth group.

We’re talking about having to protect our kids from widely available TEEN FASHION magazines that teach them how to be sodomized.  

(Almost equally unbelievable is the Twitter response from the magazine’s digital editor to those who think this is a problem.)

In a world like this, parents must increasingly say “no.” A lot. But if we’re not careful in how we execute our counter-cultural living, our kids can start seeing us like the alarmist leech on the beach guy and resent Christianity because of it.

There are four ways we can inadvertently allow that to happen.Continue reading