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Today’s post, like my last one, is in response to some comments I saw in a Facebook group recently. A mom posted that her 5-year-old asked, “How do we know God is real?”

Amongst the many responses from fellow parents was this one: “I would say… Maybe God isn’t real. If he isn’t, then have we lost anything by following him and living good and moral lives? No. So if our faith isn’t true, we can still live lives that spread goodness and love. And if it is true then we get to experience the source of goodness and love when we pass on to the next life. Either way we make a good choice to follow God and spread love and goodness in this world.”

This response is the basic idea behind what is famously known as “Pascal’s Wager,” named for the 17^th century philosopher Blaise Pascal who first championed it. The gist of the argument is that humans should live as if God exists because we have everything to gain and nothing to lose from it—a safe bet. If it turns out that God exists, then you gain heaven and avoid hell; if it turns out that God doesn’t exist, you’ve lost nothing. So everyone should just believe in God, right?

No, no, no. Please don’t use this as your Christian parenting philosophy…either implicitly or explicitly.

Over time, I’ve received quite a few blog comments from Christian parents suggesting this is their underlying rationale for faith, and I’ve seen many Christians attempt to use this logic with nonbelievers. However, it’s riddled with problems and I implore Christian parents to avoid this mentality at all costs. Here are four reasons why.Continue reading

A mom posted in a Christian Facebook group recently about her daughter’s struggle to understand why God told Abraham to sacrifice Isaac. Genesis 22:1-2 says:

God tested Abraham and said to him, “Abraham!” And he said, “Here I am.” He said, “Take your son, your only son Isaac, whom you love, and go to the land of Moriah, and offer him there as a burnt offering on one of the mountains of which I shall tell you.”

Her daughter asked why God would tell Abraham to kill his own son, which, she said, would be a “wicked” command. The mom was looking for help on how to explain to her daughter that this event doesn’t make God wicked.

There were dozens of Facebook comments in response to her post. But the most popular one, based on “likes” from others in the community, encouraged the mom to share that we don’t always have all the answers and to tell her daughter to pray about it.

Generally speaking, I couldn’t agree more that we need to acknowledge to our kids that God hasn’t told us everything we’d like to know and that there are some things we just don’t have answers for. I tell my kids this frequently…when they ask questions there truly aren’t answers for.

But we do our kids an incredible disservice when they ask questions that do have biblical answers and we either 1) tell them no one knows, or 2) give them a wrong answer.

In this case, the Bible absolutely does give us an answer. And if we fail to give our kids that answer, they may eventually find the skeptic’s answer to this and related questions more compelling: that God is immoral and the Bible supports human sacrifice (one popular site calls God’s command to Abraham “pure unadulterated evil”).

I address the question of whether or not the Bible supports human sacrifice in Chapter 32 of Keeping Your Kids on God’s Side: 40 Conversations to Help Them Build a Lasting Faith. I provide answers in that chapter on God’s command to sacrifice Isaac, the reason for Old Testament child sacrifices, Jepthah’s vow (Judges 11:29-40), why God commanded the consecration of firstborn males (Exodus 13:2), the burning of Achan (Joshua 7:25-26), and the question of Jesus’ “human sacrifice” on the cross—all examples that skeptics give when they claim that the Bible condones human sacrifice. Since the question of Abraham and Isaac is a particularly common one, I wanted to share the relevant book excerpt with you today.

 

[Excerpt begins here.]

In Genesis 12:1-2, God called Abraham to leave his family and go to a land He would show him. God promised that through Abraham’s descendants all the families of the Earth would be blessed (as we later learn, Abraham would become the ancestral father of God’s chosen people, the Israelites, and ultimately of Jesus Himself). Abraham obeyed and left his homeland. However, he later questioned God’s promise because his wife, Sarah, had not become pregnant. God reiterated His promise, saying that Abraham would have an heir.Continue reading

I woke up this morning feeling like I had a giant grey cloud over my head.

It was one of those mornings where you wake up and immediately remember something is wrong, but aren’t able to recall exactly what it is for a couple of minutes.

I quickly searched my memory bank for what’s going on with my kids, my parents, my friends, and my work. It wasn’t any of those things. But then I remembered why I went to bed feeling so depressed.

Our country is heading in an absolutely disastrous direction. I’m grieving for my children’s future.

Yeah. Just that.

And not just because of the most recent news headlines. Because of the cumulative news impact over several months now.

If you don’t share a sense of dire concern over our country’s spiritual, moral and political direction, then this post isn’t for you. This is a letter to those who already grieve with me for our children’s future.

 

Dear Friends,

I know how you feel. There are lots of us feeling the same way. You’re not alone. It’s a strangely disorienting mixture of sadness, frustration, anger, and dismay—one that leaves you wanting to pull your hair out or cry, depending on the day and headline.

I fear our country is at a turning point and we will never regain the foundation we had.

My heart hurts thinking about what society will look like for my kids someday.

I’ve found myself feeling the deep weight of this emotional burden lately. For a while, I considered that burden to be a negative thing—something to get rid of. But I’m now convicted that Christians should feel the burden and use that weight as a catalyst for doing something.

Christian parents, especially, are in the position of doing something hugely significant, as we are in a position to influence the next generation—part of the very future you and I are so concerned about. But we will only have the collective impact we desire if we do the necessary things and not just many somethings.

Here are four of those necessary things.Continue reading

Joseph Backholm, of the Family Policy Institute, is a short, Caucasian male. But he went to the University of Washington campus recently to see if students would affirm or reject his newly chosen identity: a 6’5” Chinese woman. Here’s the 4-minute video he produced with the interviews (you REALLY need to watch this, but I’ll also summarize some key points below):

Backholm starts by asking the students what they think of allowing transgender people into the restroom of their chosen identity. Everyone is supportive.

Then he asks what they would say if he told them he was a woman. The students get a little more uncomfortable, but, as one girl said, “I’d say good for you. Yeah!”

Backholm then presses them to say what they would think if he said he was Chinese. Again, a student says, “I might be a little surprised but I would say, ‘Good for you. Yeah, be who you are.’”

He then goes on to ask what they would think if he said he was a 7-year-old. One student went silent, realizing she didn’t know what to say that would be consistent with what she had already been saying. Another sheepishly said, “I wouldn’t believe that immediately”. And one said, “I probably wouldn’t believe it but it really wouldn’t bother me that much to go out of my way to tell you, ‘No, you’re wrong.’ I’d just be like, ‘Oh, OK, he wants to be 7 years old.’”

Finally, Backholm asked, “If I told you I was 6 feet 5 inches, what would you say?”

One student replied, “If you truly believe you’re 6 feet 5, I don’t think it’s harmful. I think it’s fine if you believe that. It doesn’t matter to me if you think you’re taller than you are…I wouldn’t tell you you’re wrong.” And another said, “I feel like that’s not my place as another human to say someone is wrong or to draw lines or boundaries.”

Wow.

What should we make of this kind of thinking? A lot.Continue reading

I received the following blog comment this week, packed with statements that your kids are likely to hear (and possibly come to believe) about the nature of truth. I wanted to reply to the commenter right here in a blog post because I feel there is so much that is important for everyone to understand about what he is saying.

I’m going to include the full comment below so you can read it in its unbroken entirety, then I’ll break it down part-by-part. If you have older kids, I encourage you to read them this letter and use it as a discussion starter.

For context, this person is responding to an atheist who had commented on a post previously, and is encouraging him to stay strong in the midst of Christian claims.

 

You are really brave defending your stance against a bunch of evangelical Christians banging on you. I myself am not an atheist. If I have to put a label on myself, I would choose agnostic theist. I believe in God or a higher power, but I don’t have an absolute certainty of his or her nature.

 My belief is rational to [a] certain extent. The rest is on faith. However, unlike Christians, my spiritual path is highly personal and subjective. I will never say that “you’d better believe what I believe or you will suffer eternal consequences”. Christians, whichever denominations, like to intimidate me which [sic] this “Jesus is the high way” tactic even though I never initiate any religious conversation with them. However, I have survived as a gay, Vietnamese, and non-Abrahamic-faith person, and my life is pretty good so far. I know you may not like to hear this. I feel connected to God with contemplation, prayer, and compassion practice. When I have a child, I will not raise him or her as an atheist or a believer. I will do my best to raise him as a person who has a higher sense of empathy and compassion. If he chooses to be a Christian, Buddhist, Wiccan, Pagan, etc., I will support his decision. I believe that God is like an ocean, and different spiritual paths are like rivers. I am not the one who decides which river is the best to reach the ocean…

Keep your stance and keep searching truth…your truth. Not mine and definitely not these Christians’.

 

My Response: An Open Letter to a Relativist

 

Dear Minh,

Thank you for being willing to honestly share your spiritual journey in the comments section of my blog. It’s clear that spirituality is an important topic for you, as it is for me. With that in mind, I’d like to respond to several of the points you make.Continue reading

I’m excited to tell you today about an excellent book that just came out: A New Kind of Apologist, edited by Sean McDowell. Sean is a professor of Christian Apologetics at Biola University, a best-selling author of over 15 books, and an internationally recognized speaker. A New Kind of Apologist contains 27 short chapters written by leading apologists, each addressing a key cultural issue currently facing Christians.

Though the word apologist sometimes evokes the image of a professional author or speaker, it’s important to remember that all Christians are called to be apologists—people who are prepared to give a reason for why we believe (1 Peter 3:15). And as Christian parents, we have the specific responsibility of being apologists to our kids. With that in mind, this book is a wonderful resource for parents because it addresses so many different cultural issues impacting our children, all in one very accessible volume. For example, there are chapters on religious liberty, transgenderism, social justice, Christians in the “argument culture,” and much more. The emphasis throughout is on how to express the truth of Christianity in a way that is relational, gracious, and holistic. A New Kind of Apologist will not only help you think about how to share your faith, it will help you help your kids share their faith.

I highlighted pages all over the book, but my favorite chapters for parents specifically were:

• “Don’t Blame Us, It’s in the Bible”: Understanding New Strategies for Shaking Up the Faith of New Generations (Dan Kimball)
• “A Practical Plan to Raise Up the Next Generation” (Brett Kunkle)
• “Using Hollywood Blockbusters to Share Your Faith” (Lenny Esposito; great movie examples you can use with your kids!)
• “Intuitional Apologetics: Using Our Deepest Intuitions to Point Toward God” (Terry Glaspey)
• “Motivating Others to ‘Give an Answer'” (Mark Mittelberg)
• “Telling the Truth About Sex in a Broken Culture” (John Stonestreet)

I had the opportunity to do an interview exchange with Sean today—I sent him some questions about A New Kind of Apologist to feature here, and he sent me some questions about Keeping Your Kids on God’s Side to feature on his blog. Many thanks to Sean for taking the time to share the following words of wisdom for parents!Continue reading

My 5-year-old and I were playing the game Connect Four the other day and, for the first time ever, she was in a position to beat me. I absolutely won’t let my kids win a game for the sake of winning, but when I see that they’ve gotten into a position to win on their own, I’m willing to point it out (yes, I am that generous).

All my daughter had to do was put her checker in a specific spot and it would guarantee a win on her next turn.

I excitedly explained, “You’re going to win! You did it on your own! I didn’t let you win at all! Look. If you play right here, you are going to win on your next turn no matter where I play next.”

She looked at it a minute and realized I was right. A guaranteed win if she played where I showed her.

Then she played somewhere else.

I was flabbergasted that my little girl, who has long been desperate to beat me at Connect Four, didn’t take the guaranteed road to victory. I literally couldn’t understand it.

I blurted out, “What are you doing?! You FINALLY could have really beaten mommy! WHY didn’t you play where I showed you?”

She shrugged, then replied, “Because I wanted to play over here.”

 

Reminder: Our Kids Aren’t Purely Rational Creatures

My daughter’s response was positively maddening because it was so illogical. Why give up the win just because you “want” to play somewhere else? It didn’t make sense.

But it made me reflect on the fact that humans are not purely rational creatures. There are all kinds of reasons why we make the decisions we make, and that includes the decisions we make about our spiritual life.

This is precisely why, no matter what we do, our kids may become atheists.

If you’ve been reading my blog for a while, you know I’m passionate about equipping Christian parents with an understanding of secular challenges and helping them address these with their kids. I strongly believe that if we aren’t intentional in how we disciple kids today, we are failing them in the most important area of their lives. So does it sound contradictory that I’m now saying no matter what we do, our kids may become atheists?Continue reading

I’m traveling this week to speak at a conference, so I haven’t been able to write a regular blog post. However, I had the wonderful opportunity to be interviewed by Ratio Christi about Keeping Your Kids on God’s Side and wanted to share that interview instead.

Ratio Christi is an organization that equips university and high school students to give historical, philosophical, and scientific reasons for following Jesus Christ. They do this by starting and growing campus chapters, each of which has a trained director. (See a list of all campuses with a chapter here – more are added on an ongoing basis.) The high school program is just getting started, but I am so excited to see Ratio Christi roll it out nationwide like they have with college campuses, where they have been making an amazing impact. Imagine how incredible it would be to see apologetics clubs at high schools everywhere!

On Ratio Christi’s home page, you can sign up for their newsletter and stay up-to-date with what they’re doing, how their ministry can reach your own kids (either now or in the future!), and how you can get involved. I highly recommend that you take a moment to do that. Additionally, you should learn about their Ratio Christi Boosters group, which is a network of parents committed to the vision of “Teach Yourself. Train Your Child. Transform the World.” That’s very much the heart of this blog, and I’m thrilled to share what they’re doing.

On a final note before the interview link, I just want to say a gigantic THANK YOU to all of you who have ordered the book. It sold out on Amazon within the first few days (they just got it back in stock yesterday)! I was also thrilled to learn that it’s being carried by hundreds of Barnes & Noble and local Christian stores. And TODAY ONLY you can get it for half-off (just $7.49!) from Christian Book Distributors. If you’re still on the fence, you can check out 21 great reader reviews already up at Amazon. 🙂

Without further delay, here is the interview!