The Christian Parenting Handbook: Book Review and Offer of $400 in Free Christian Parenting Resources

Christian Parenting Handbook | Christian Mom ThoughtsThere’s an exciting new book for Christian parents I want to tell you about! “The Christian Parenting Handbook: 50 Heart-Based Strategies for All the Stages of Your Child’s Life” by Dr. Scott Turansky and Joanne Miller comes out today.

I’m going to share a bit about the book with you and then tell you how to get $400 of FREE (and great) Christian parenting resources if you buy the book this week. It’s not a lottery or raffle – every single person who buys The Christian Parenting Handbook this week and provides proof of purchase receives the bonus package! It’s really a no-brainer. But first let me tell you why you would even want this book.

The premise of the The Christian Parenting Handbook is that parents focus too much on external behavior management, at the expense of helping their kids develop a truly transformed heart. Parenting in a way that changes a child’s heart rather than simply his/her behavior, however, requires some guidance because behavior modification tends to be our default approach. If our kids are doing something bad, we naturally gravitate to discipline that will make them stop behaving badly. But this book calls us to more than that. It calls us to do the tougher (but more important) work of changing the heart.

The Christian Parenting Handbook is an extremely easy read; it’s 50 very short chapters (3-4 pages each), each of which tackles a narrow topic. These small chapters are quick to digest, but filled with practical and biblically-based wisdom. The concepts are applicable for parents with kids of any age. Here’s a peek at the the first 10 chapters, to give you an idea of content:Continue reading

How Much Should You Protect Kids from Negative Influences? 5 Key Questions to Ask Yourself

How Much Should You Protect Your Kids From Negative Influences? | Christian Mom ThoughtsI work two days per week from home, and have a nanny on those two days to watch the kids while I’m not available. Every week when I emerge from the office at 6 p.m. to let our nanny go, I ask for the download on how the kids behaved. Usually they are quite good, but once in a while a big issue comes up that we need to discuss. Last week, one such “big issue” arose.

Our nanny had asked my son to pick something up that afternoon, to which he replied, “No! You’re STUPID!”

Gasp! Gasp.

I was absolutely blown away that he would call her a bad name, and immediately asked him where he had even heard such a thing.

“Jacob calls people stupid at school.”

I wanted to scream. My twins have attended pre-Kindergarten two half days per week since September. The rap sheet of their social “learnings” since that time has been less than awesome:

  • A boy held Kenna to the ground and wouldn’t let her go even when she was yelling for him to stop. He told her he “wanted her in jail.”
  • A kid in the class taught the rest of the kids (ages 4 and 5) to sing a song he made up called “Sexy Lady.”
  • Nathan has picked up on the aggressive behavior of some boys in his class and comes home trying to scare his little sister with forceful “ninja” moves like the other boys in class do to each other. This has been a daily issue in our house since he started school.
  • Both Nathan and Kenna always have something to report about how mean the “bad boys” on the playground are – taunting the kids in the pre-K class for being “babies,” telling them to hit other kids, suggesting they throw sand at smaller children, and so on. As much as they don’t like it, they are fascinated by it, and sometimes pretend at home they are the “bad boys.”

If I had read this list from another parent before my kids started school, my honest reaction would have been this: Buck up! That’s life. Kids are like that. They have years of it ahead. Teach them how to deal with it. Make a lesson out of it. Make them stronger people.

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How Does Prayer Work?

How Does Prayer Work? | Christian Mom ThoughtsA few nights ago, we finished our prayer time and Kenna and Alexa ran off to their beds. Nathan, however, remained seated where our prayer circle had been. He had the look on his little face that means he’s lost in thought.

“What’s up, buddy?” I asked him.

“Mommy, God doesn’t always heal. Sometimes it’s medicine, right?”

One of the things we had just prayed about was that Nathan would get well quickly from his cough. Earlier in the day, I had given him some medicine. I was pretty surprised that at age 4 he was contemplating the relationship between God’s work and human work! I was even more surprised at how unprepared I was to respond to his question.

“Well, God is the one who created the doctors and gave scientists the knowledge to make the medicine.”

Hmmm…not a great answer. God did do those things, but if that’s all that’s necessary, why did we just bother to pray for healing? I tried again.

“But here’s the thing. Even though God gives us doctors and medicine, that’s not always enough for our bodies to heal. Sometimes they are too broken. We don’t always know when medicine will work, so we want to ask God to heal us too.”

Oh gosh. Even worse answer. Now I’ve made the effects of medicine seem completely ambiguous and reduced God to a medical insurance policy for when medicine falls through. I tried again.Continue reading

Reminder: We’re Just as Sinful as Our Kids

Reminder: We're Just as Sinful as Our Kids | Christian Mom ThoughtsLast Wednesday night, I woke up with a little tickle in my chest, coupled with the feeling of 2,000 pounds on top of me. As I wrestled with going back to sleep, I heard several little coughs echoing down the hallway from the kids’ rooms.

I’m sure many of you can relate to the sinking feeling that happens when you realize the next few days of your life will be consumed with wiping noses, dispensing medicine and dealing with crankiness. Sigh.

When morning came, I took every conceivable medicine and miserably dragged myself down the hall. Sure enough, all three kids were sick too. It was hard to imagine the day ahead.

So what did we do? We all grabbed a pillow and blanket and positioned ourselves in the living room for a rare morning of movie watching. The kids took turns snuggling with me. I comforted them by rubbing their heads. Every half hour or so, I asked them how they were feeling. I quickly caught dripping noses with a wad of prepared tissues. I kissed their foreheads. I allowed us to all lie around and watch TV for 3 hours…something that never happens.

This may sound like a pretty normal scene given the circumstances. But, I have to admit, I’m not much of a nurturer by nature. If the kids were sick and I was not, it would have played out differently. I probably would have positioned them on the couch with a stuffed animal and worked in the kitchen or on my computer while they relaxed, periodically checking in on them to see if they needed anything.

Everything was different because I was in the same boat. Being right there with them in our mutually sick state gave me an empathy which completely transformed how I related to them. Since I was feeling what they were feeling, I was fundamentally more attentive to their needs.Continue reading

Are You Shaping Your Kids to Do God’s Work Right Now…Or Just Preparing Them for When They Grow Up?

Wynter Pitts | Christian Mom ThoughtsI’m excited today to feature a guest post from Wynter Pitts, founder of For Girls Like You Magazine, a ministry to girls (age 6-11) and their parents.

Do you remember being 9, 10 or 11 years old?

I do.

It seems like a lifetime ago. Probably because, in my case, it was!

I have vague memories of lining my “babies” along the living room wall and yelling out names as I “took roll” and set up my classroom. I was convinced that I was going to be a teacher…when I grew up.

I remember following my brother around the house and basically doing anything I could think of to get on his nerves more than I did the day before.  This is how I showed him how much I adored him!

I remember dressing up in beautifully colored, intricate pieces of fabric while collecting dimes to raise money for missionaries in Guatemala.

I remember my mother loading us up in a big yellow boat with wheels for day trips to New York City, youth group Bible studies, overnight camps, Sunday services and weekday revivals. I would sit in awe and pray that one day God could use me the way He was using the people that took the stage.

It never fully dawned on me that the great big God of the universe was capable of using me right then, as a little girl, collecting dimes, hanging out with friends at camp and sitting in my living room.Continue reading

Perpetua and Felicity: A (True) Story to Stir Your Soul This Easter

Perpetua and Felicity | Christian Mom ThoughtsAt the end of last year, I read a book called “Getting to Know the Church Fathers: An Evangelical Introduction,” by Bryan M. Litfin. It was a wonderful introduction to the lives, beliefs and struggles of early Christians who had a hugely significant impact on the development of the church. Aside from learning a lot, there was one story that absolutely shook me. I literally thought about it for weeks. Each time it came to mind, there was a little earthquake in my soul.

I find this story incredibly convicting, and I want to share it with you today as we approach Easter.

***

The year was 203 AD. It was a time that Christians were severely persecuted by the Romans and a countless number were killed for their beliefs. Perpetua and her handmaiden, Felicity, were two of these early martyrs.

Perpetua was a young woman with a nursing infant. When she was accused of being a Christian, authorities threw her into a filthy, dark prison, and took away her baby. Some of Perpetua’s writings have been preserved, and she noted during that time that she was “extremely distressed” with anxiety for her infant. Some Christian deacons bribed the guards to move her to a better part of the prison, where she finally nursed her son. He had grown faint with hunger.

When Perpetua appeared before the local governor for her trial, her father pulled her aside, holding out her son, and cried, “Have pity on your baby!” The governor added, “Spare the infancy of your boy, and offer sacrifice for the well-being of the emperors.” The governor then asked Perpetua the final question for conviction:

“Are you a Christian?”

Perpetua resolutely replied, “Yes. I am a Christian.

It was official: she would be devoured by wild beasts for her beliefs. She was removed to await her penalty and that was the last time she ever saw her baby.Continue reading

Dear Fellow Perfectionists: We Need a Transformation of the Heart

Overcoming Perfectionism | Christian Mom ThoughtsI’ve always been baffled by the fact that Kenna, my 4-year-old, gets incredibly frustrated about everything at home, but when she’s at preschool, gymnastics or ballet classes, she has no trouble “keeping it together.” That changed at Friday’s gymnastics class.

She was learning a new skill on the balance beam and kept falling. After one too many falls she screamed, “I can’t do it! I don’t want to do gymnastics ANY MORE!” I was one part embarrassed (“oh my gosh, my kid just flamed out in front of everyone”), one part scared (“she’s going to start getting frustrated in public now like she does at home”) and one part sad (“she’s going to be cursed by perfectionism, like me, for the rest of her life”).

If Kenna can’t do something perfectly, she doesn’t want to do it at all. I’m exactly like that, and I regularly think about stopping blogging because of it – this blog is so far from the “perfect” blog I would like to have. For example:

I don’t write enough blog posts, and my frequency of posting is inconsistent.

Theoretically, I would love to publish the same number of posts every week and on the same days so readers know what to expect. But I have three kids under five (who are not in school during the day) and I work part time. I write during their nap time or after a long day when they are tucked into bed. Sometimes I can post twice in a week, but usually it’s only once, and I can’t even get myself to consistently post on the same day(s)…my blog is terribly imperfect because of it.Continue reading

Teaching Your Kids How to Choose – and Not Choose – a Religion (Hint: Don’t Use Rob Bell’s Method)

Teaching Kids How to Choose Religion | Christian Mom ThoughtsFormer megachurch pastor and best-selling author Rob Bell made headlines this week for coming out in support of gay marriage. In an appearance during a tour for his new book, he explained:

“The powerful revolutionary thing about Jesus’ message is he says ‘what do you with the people who aren’t like you? What do you do with the other? What do you do with the person who is hardest to love…?’ That’s the measure of a good religion.”

Really? Spiritual truth depends on whom you love? That’s how we should measure “good religion?” And what we want to measure is whether or not a religion is “good”?

I don’t want to find a good religion. I want to find truth.

Let me say up front that this post is not about my beliefs on gay marriage. What I’m writing about today is the notion that a person should choose their spiritual beliefs for any reason other than that they believe they have sought and found truth. Does that sound obvious? Consider this research finding:

1 in 5 twenty-somethings who turn away from faith say that Christianity doesn’t meet their “needs.”

Wow! At what point did these young people begin to believe that their (perceived) needs can determine the truth of a religion? This kind of personalized measuring stick for truth is at the heart of Bell’s mentality. That’s why his quote reminded me how important it is to explicitly teach our kids how they should – and shouldn’t – choose a religion.Continue reading

Book Review and Giveaway: Love in the Balance by Regina Jennings

Love in the Balance | Christian Mom Thoughts(Today is the third of three book reviews and giveaways I’m doing this week! Check out the first one here and the second one here. I’ve received these three books from publishers in exchange for my honest review. I have a copy of each to give away to one of my blog readers. Check out the review below, and then read the instructions for the giveaway that follow.)

Today I’m reviewing Love in the Balance by Regina Jennings. Love in the Balance is a Christian historical romance set in 1879 in Caldwell County, Texas.

Here’s the back cover copy to give you an overview of the plot:

Molly Lovelace dreams of a life without cares in Lockhart, Texas. She also dreams of handsome wrangler Bailey Garner, her ardent but inconsistent beau. The problem is, with Bailey’s poor prospects, she just can’t fit the two dreams together.

Then mysterious stranger Edward Pierrepont sweeps into town–and her life–and for the first time Molly wonders if she’s met the man who can give her everything. But he won’t be in Lockhart long and while it certainly seems like he talks about their glorious future together, she can’t quite get Bailey out of her mind.

What’s a girl to do with all these decisions when love is in the balance?

At first glance, this sounds like a common “girl caught between two loves” story. But the beauty of this book is that it turns out to be anything but common. I couldn’t put it down once I started – here’s why. Continue reading

Book Review and Giveaway: Hopes and Fears – Everyday Theology for New Parents and Other Tired, Anxious People

Hopes and Fears Review | Christian Mom Thoughts(Today is the second of three book reviews and giveaways I’m doing this week! Check out the first one here. I’ve received these three books from publishers in exchange for my honest review. I have a copy of each to give away to one of my blog readers. Check out the review below, and then read the instructions for the giveaway that follow.)

Today I’m reviewing Hopes and Fears: Everyday Theology for New Parents and Other Tired, Anxious People by two women pastors, Bromleigh McCleneghan and Lee Hull Moses (of the United Methodist Church and the First Christian Church, respectively).

If you’re tired of “how to” books or traditional devotionals, but want to read something that will spiritually encourage you through the mundane day-to-day parenting of babies and small children, this one’s for you. The chapters are individual essays that could be read at any time, in any order – making it a light, easy read that is perfect for weary parents who only have a few minutes to pick up a book.

The 14 chapters alternate by author. Both authors are highly relatable, insightful and quite funny! I laughed out loud throughout the book. They make you feel as though you’re hanging out with one of those friends who makes you laugh, cry, and think a little more deeply about life. Their status as working moms/pastors is an encouragement especially for those who find the balance of work and parenthood challenging.Continue reading