Author: admin

How to Start Writing Family Spiritual Goals: One Example

I’ve been thinking a lot about the key findings from the Revolutionary Parenting book I outlined in my last post. There is so much to take away from Barna’s findings, but what convicted me to most immediate action was this one:

“Another of the distinctive qualities of Revolutionary Parents was that they set tangible and measurable parenting goals and held themselves accountable. Three out of every four of these parents (73 percent) developed and pursued goals. That’s about fifteen times the proportion among other parents.”

Perhaps because I am, by nature, a very goal-oriented person, I was surprised to realize that I have never sat down and explicitly outlined my spiritual goals for my kids. Reading that this is a key distinguishing act of the parents who raised “Spiritual Champions,” it was on my heart right away to sit down and get my goals on paper.

The book doesn’t provide further information on the nature of the goals these parents had set, and I’m sure it varies widely. I thought I would share what I wrote for my family this week as one possible thought starter for those considering goal setting. Simply figuring out how to approach the project is half the battle!Continue reading

A Must Read for All Christian Families: Revolutionary Parenting

I just finished reading the book “Revolutionary Parenting: Raising Your Kids to Become Spiritual Champions” by George Barna. I couldn’t put it down! It was so compelling and directly relevant to the focus of this blog (intentional Christian parenting) that today I want to share several key highlights from it.

The author, George Barna, is the founder of the Barna Group, a leading market research company in tracking and analyzing matters of faith. The extensive research the Barna Group has conducted over the last 30 years has provided a wealth of fascinating insights that have been the basis of several books, including this one.

In “Revolutionary Parenting,” Barna’s objective was to analyze years of research data to quantitatively determine what common factors exist in the child-rearing efforts of parents who successfully raised children whom he defines as “spiritual champions.” These “spiritual champions” are now adults who say that 1) they have embraced Jesus Christ as their Savior and Lord; 2) they accept the Bible as truth and as the guide for life; and 3) they seek to live in obedience to its principles and in search of ways to continually deepen their relationship with God.

Perhaps you read that and think having kids who are spiritual champions is the expected outcome of raising them in a Christian home. This couldn’t be further from the truth:

Research has shown that 61% of today’s twenty-somethings were church goers during their teen years but are now spiritually disengaged (i.e., they don’t actively attend church, read the Bible or pray).

When you stop to consider this astounding statistic, it makes Barna’s findings in Revolutionary Parenting all the more urgent and compelling: What things make a significant difference in a developing a child’s faith?

I highly recommend reading the whole book yourself. It is the ultimate motivation for making your Christian parenting truly intentional, because the findings consistently point back to the need for a family to engage in faith together at home. In the meantime, I want to share the most pertinent highlights from my reading (these are direct quotes from the book):Continue reading

8 Faith-Based Reasons You Should Apologize to Your Kids

There are days when I put the kids to bed and feel like I should be handed an Olympic medal for my performance as a mom in the most trying of situations (OK, not many, but maybe once a year). Then there are days that I put the kids to bed, close the door, and fold my face into my heads thinking of how I handled the challenges that came my way that day.

One night last week, I visited a friend on a “face in the hands” day. I told her how disappointed I was in my handling of a situation and how I had to apologize to my daughter. This led to a conversation about how often to apologize to your kids and the tradeoff of losing perceived authority. It made me reflect on how much my view of this has changed in the last few months.

I’ve come to believe strongly that I should apologize to my kids each and every time it is warranted, and that this approach to parenting is one of the most valuable contributions I can make to my kids’ faith.

Why is apologizing so important in the context of Christian parenting?

Serving Opportunities: What is it Like to be a Foster Parent?

Did you know there are approximately half a million children in foster care in the United States? There is an enormous need for families to serve this foster child population . . . and it doesn’t necessarily require a full-time commitment.

Today I am excited to interview a wonderful Christian mom who is serving the Lord in this way. Jennifer is a homeschooling mom of three biological children, ages 7, 6 and 4 months. She is also a foster mom of a one-year-old baby who was placed with her family at 10 days old. She has an amazing heart for the fostering ministry and I pray that her story will encourage you to consider how your own family might make a difference to foster children in need.

If you have any questions for Jennifer about fostering or her experience, please leave them in the comments!Continue reading

4 Things Kids Should Learn Not to Say When Sharing Their Faith

On Tuesday night during our Bible study time with the kids, I realized that it had probably never occurred to them that there are people who don’t believe what we do about Jesus.

I asked, “Did you know that not everyone knows about Jesus? And that some people who do know about Jesus don’t believe He is real or that the Bible is true?”

Kenna’s eyes became huge. She then suggested, “We should tell them!”

And just like that, a multitude of childhood evangelism “failures” flooded over me. Every Sunday I heard about the importance of telling others about Jesus, but almost every time I tried to witness to my friends, my attempts were met with a negative response. I eventually just gave up.

The problem was that no one really ever told me how to do it – or, perhaps more importantly, how not to do it. With a wrong (or less than ideal) approach, evangelism can become a negative experience. We need to help our kids learn what to say AND what not to say.

For today, here are 4 things kids should learn NOT to say when sharing their faith.Continue reading

Why Are We Surprised By Random Acts of Evil?

Ever since I heard the news of Friday’s theater shooting in Aurora, Colorado, I’ve felt like there is a dark cloud looming over me. The horrifying tragedy of 12 people dying so suddenly and senselessly has left me preoccupied with grief and shock.

Like many others, I’ve read countless news updates that are slowly crafting a more comprehensive picture of the shooter. I’m glued with curiosity to the details of his life, trying to understand just how this could happen; just what life story leads to this ending.

My Facebook news feed is filled with comments on the merits of gun control and links to blog posts trying to answer the question, “Why would God allow this to happen?” People are rallying to join fan pages of the surviving victims who remain in the hospital.

All of this points to a tangible collective feeling of helplessness in the air.

New evil shocks us.

Yet, on a day to day basis, we are generally unphased by existing evil: oppressive political regimes, extensive child trafficking, violent gender and religious oppression, devastating human rights violations. We are all aware of these pervasive evils in the world, yet we don’t hang our heads in sorrow for days at a time thinking about them like we did after Friday’s shooting. We don’t hug the news daily searching for those answers. Why?Continue reading

9 Ways to Get Over the Fear of Praying Out Loud

Several weeks ago, I wrote about the importance of praying out loud with your children:

Prayer is the heart of a relationship with Jesus. How can there be relationship without communication? If we want our kids to develop a relationship with Him, they have to become comfortable with prayer, and that is much less likely to happen if they only hear prayers in church on Sundays. Praying as a family is critical.

Despite the importance of family prayer, it has been very difficult for me to overcome my fear of praying out loud, even when the “audience” only involves small children and a husband. I know many people have this fear, so today I’m sharing nine things I have found helpful in getting over it. Don’t let your prayer discomfort minimize your opportunity to give your children the life-long gift of a rich prayer life!Continue reading

Dealing With Disappointment in Your Kids: Try This

My family and I just returned from a vacation to Lake Tahoe. It was beautiful and I am really grateful we had the opportunity to go. That said, vacation with small children should never be called vacation. It should be called “the week when you do all the usual work to keep your children alive, but in another location.”

Outside of their normal routine and structure, the kids misbehaved constantly. There was more whining, more fighting, less gratitude and less kindness than ever. Returning from vacation, I had a genuine feeling of disappointment in my kids. I felt like a failure and wondered where I have gone wrong. Shouldn’t all of my intentional parenting efforts result in my kids becoming “better and better” people over time? Why do they seem to be getting worse right now?

As I considered these questions, I was reminded of an insight I heard years ago: There is no disappointment without expectations.

Is the problem, therefore, with my expectations or with my kids failing to live up to them?Continue reading

Vacation Week – No New Posts

Just a note to let you know my family and I are on vacation so there won’t be any new posts for the week of July 9. I’ll resume posting next week! Thank you!

8 Reasons Why Kids Don’t Want to Go to Church

The number one topic that brings people to my blog via Google search is whether or not to force kids to go to church (Google has put my page, “Should You Force Your Kids To Go To Church?” at the top of search results on the matter). Given how many parents search on the topic, it is obviously a common problem and question.

I have not yet had the experience of dealing with this as a parent since my kids are so young, but I happen to have a wealth of first-hand experience with the issue: I was a kid who NEVER wanted to go to church.

Reflecting on years of reasons for desperately wanting out of church, I would not have been able or willing to articulate those reasons to my parents. I can now, however, encapsulate the spectrum of my personal experience in the following eight reasons.

For those struggling with the issue, I hope this list encourages you to dig more deeply into your kids’ excuses of “I just don’t want to go” to identify and address the real underlying reasons.Continue reading